Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
