Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
