Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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