sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
