i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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