At least make sure they are 18
Why
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
