Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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