he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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