Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize