I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
