the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
