im about as happy as oj after his trial
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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