all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
