I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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