Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Every concussion has its silver lining
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
