Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
