You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Randomize
