Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
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I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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