I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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