Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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