He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize