Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
