forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
