Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
