How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
