I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
