I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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