Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
