My friends, they love my intelligence
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
