put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
