We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
