It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
whose parrot is this?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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