you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
