youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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