Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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