I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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