i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
