Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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