plz talk dirty to me
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
