Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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