The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
