I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
