No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
