She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
