Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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