make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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