Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
