Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
