fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
