Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.