But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.