They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.