K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life