he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
