actually, I'm a sock model
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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