Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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