Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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