Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
