no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
