I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My penis needs a shock collar
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
