can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
