Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
