i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
