The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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