If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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