my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
