Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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