So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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